Ballers, Gamers and Scoundrels

If you say something long enough - no matter how absurd, illogical or wrong it may be - someone just might start to believe it. (Just ask Hillary.) That’s the only way to explain how the open-wheel folks at Indy Racing League came to implement its latest rule change: From now on, the minimum weight for IRL cars must include the driver.

What’s the big deal? Well, it just so happens that the lightest driver on the circuit is a woman. And not just any woman. It’s Danica Patrick, whose hotness (off the track more than on it) has made her perhaps the most popular driver in open-wheel racing. At just 100 pounds, she weights 20 pounds less than the two other women on the circuit, Mika Duno and Sarah Fisher. The heaviest driver, according the IRL guide, is 165-pounder Ed Carpenter.

The rationale for the move? Patrick told USA Today that she asked IRL honchos for a reason for the change. “They didn’t really have one,” she said.

I guess it wouldn’t exactly have been smart for her to just call a lug a lug. But I will. It’s stupid, and it sounds like good’ ole hateration.

There was buzz in IRL garages about Danica’s slight size providing her with some unfair advantage almost since the moment she burst onto the scene - and we do mean burst! - three years ago by becoming only the fourth woman to qualify for the Indy 500, the first to actually lead the race and finishing fourth, the best showing ever by a woman. Danica even admits that in a sport where less weight can mean higher speeds, being light offers a slight edge.

In 2005, rival teams were outed in an AP story, saying Danica might gain as much as 1 mph due to her size.

Whatever. If it was that much an advantage, why has Danica not won a single race in 47 tries?

It might be fair to call Danica, one of the highest-earning female athletes on the planet; the Anna Kournikova of the grease set since her results have not yet lived up to the hype. But it’s pretty hard not to think this rule change was just the sad result of the constant whining by her competitors.

The IRL took great pains to prevent us from calling this the “Danica Rule.” Circuit spokesman John Griffin said the new rule would lessen the disparity between the lightest and heaviest drivers, which can be as much 100 pounds. (Have the IRL’s tubbies not heard of Jenny Craig?)

Uh-huh.

Look, I fully understand efforts to create a level playing field, whether in racing (NASCAR has weight requirements) or elsewhere in our society. Disparities that provide one group with an unfair advantage over another - in sports, in the workplace, in the classroom, wherever - are growing more and more outdated with each passing day. Thankfully.

But throw in the potential new NFL rule banning hair from hanging from under a player’s helmet beyond his name, and I began to wonder whether sports, which has typically been a stage for change in America, is lurching backwards just as the rest of the nation slowly - and almost historically - moves ahead.

It sounded like a good idea at the time. Now it sounds like a miracle.

Last Friday, Jimmie Johnson, the 2006 Nextel Cup NASCAR champion, said he’d donate his winnings at the week’s Pep Boys 500 to the American Red Cross and the organization’s relief efforts in the wake of the devastating California fires. A Southern California native, Johnson said the tragedy hit “pretty close to home.” He recalled even being evacuated on occasion due to fires in the area.

Not long after Johnson’s announcement, several other NASCAR affiliates and officials pitched in, including Lowe’s, Speedway Motorsports chairman Bruton Smith, Sonic Automotive Inc., and NASCAR executive Jim France. All said they’d match Johnson’s winnings-turned-donation.

Then the miracle happened. Johnson, locked in a battle with Jeff Gordon for the 2007 Nextel Cup, won the darn thing. Thanks to a two-tire change strategy that will mean something only to die-hard gear heads (is that redundant?), he won the 500.

His winnings? $349.561 Combined with the other commitments, nearly $1.5 million was raised to support firefighters and citizens burned from their homes - in one day!

It prompted me to think: What if every athlete and league and sponsor donated a day’s earnings to a deserving charity? What if the NBA - which wrestles daily with its image - announced tonight, opening night, that every player and coach was donating that night’s salary to the relief effort - and that those funds would be matched by the teams and the league’s major sponsors and television networks?

How much would that be?

What if every NFL player, coach and team donated one Sunday’s earnings? Count the millions.

What if the Boston Red Sox and Colorado Rockies donated their World Series checks - and other players matched? Are we talking a billion yet?

What if the NHL, UFC, other NASCAR drivers and other sports organizations did the same - to combat illiteracy, poverty, homelessness, breast cancer, AIDS or simply put it all in a major disaster relief fun to be overseen by a major board and at the ready when disasters such as Katrina and he raging fires hit?

Just one day’s earnings?

Throw in Nike, Gatorade, adidas, Starter and other major sports manufacturers.

Just one day’s profits?

Imagine…how much our communities, our children and our less fortunate would rise.

This is not to say that many. many athletes hav e not been as giving and gracious with their dollars and time as Jimmie Johnson. Many have, in every league.

But just imagine how such an historic, one-day show of universal support for others just might change what many of us think about sports - and particularly today’s athletes.

Imagine.

Imagine if Kobe and his peers reached for their wallets as proudly. 

To the victor …

Where have we been? Where were we while Lewis Hamilton was quietly becoming the hottest new star in auto racing? On Sunday, the 22-year-old Brit of Grenadian descent, the first black driver in Formula One history, became the first black winner in Formula One history by capturing the Canadian Grand Prix. The victory capped what has already been a remarkable season for the affable young man, who drives for McLaren Mercedes. He’s raced six times so far this season and reached the podium each time. He is currently F1’s overall points leader. NASCAR who?

Hamilton’s parents emigrated from Grenada but separated when he was two. He was raised by his father and a stepmother. He apparently took to cart racing early - ads do most great drivers - but the passion was a financial hardship on his family. Undoubtedly he is appreciating his success. For another reason as well: His younger brother, Nicholas, suffers from cerebral palsy.

A friend just asked me an interesting question: If Hamilton had been American do you think he would have been able to get sponsorship - let alone Mercedes? Puulllleeez!

2006

BY JOE SAWARD