Serena Needs Phat Farm? Say It Ain’t So

Serena Williams of the U.S. raises her arms in cel...

Serena Williams of the U.S. raises her arms in celebration after winning her her match against Italy’s Mara Santangelo at the Australian Open tennis tournament in Melbourne January 15, 2007. REUTERS/David Gray (AUSTRALIA)
12:18 p.m. ET, 1/15/07

David Gray / Reuters

The venerable New York Times alluded to it. So did a couple regular contributors to my blog. So I went in search of evidence of their allegation that Serena Williams is a tennis Teletubbie. Oh my.


After a five-month layoff, Williams, seeded 81st at the first Grand Slam event of the ’07, easily won her opening match at the Australian Open over Italy’s Mara Santangelo, the No 27 seed. All is right with the world, except this: Williams’ lack of conditioning is clear, stark and troubling. It could mean the seven-time Grand Slam winner is likely to endure another pitiable season. Even worse: If she dopesn’t shape up, we might not actually want to see her in that cat suit again.

A moment of silence please.

A Man’s Response to the Cat Suit:

Serena: a *visual* response to Serena’s catsuit

Her offiicial website: Serena’s Place


34 thoughts on “Serena Needs Phat Farm? Say It Ain’t So

  1. Juan says:

    I don’t believe you.

    What’s next? Are you going to tell me that fine Whitney Houston is or used to be heavily addicted to junk/the girl/snow (any other names for coke I’m missing), lost her looks and is close to losing all her Bodyguard money? (The proceeds from that album could probably get us out of our national debt alone)

    When Whitney was in her prime, man, she was gorgeous. I’m gonna take the “I Wanna Dance with Somebody” Whitney over all other Whitneys. Thoughts anyone?

    Remember on Martin when Martin was broke as a joke and he as going to sell concert shirts outside the Whitney concert, but Brothaman messed up and made out “Whitney Huton” shirts? PS… old Martin reruns are on TvOne. They never get old.

    Since I’m way off topic…

    I’m also gonna take Janet Jackson in her “That’s the Way Love Goes” looks just slightly over her “Love Will Never Do Without you” looks. She was a little Bohemian in that one and I had never seen that from her, so that one wins.

    Once saw an NFL scout leave a game he was scouting way early. I asked him why? Well he had to catch a plane and make it back on time to his house so he could watch Janet concert on HBO or Showtime or whatever it was on at that time.

    That’s how BAD she was. Made a man ignore his responsibilities.

  2. Eddie says:

    Give the girl a break. She beat a seeded player like a drum. She can go as far as she wants to . I say she makes it to the quarters easy, maybe semifinals. With a little focus she can be the best in the world of tennis. I say she wins a major this year. GO SERENA!

  3. Earl says:

    I saw the woman on ESPN the other day. That ass made my mouth water. She was big in all the right places. What’s the problem? She don’t need to lose a pound. Now did you see the walking toothpick she was playing? I’d rather she look thick and sexy than look like skinny chicken legged dyke.

  4. hobbylobby says:

    You all remember that she’s a
    Jehovah’s Witnesses, right?

    That only makes quotes like:
    “That ass made my mouth water.”
    even more powerful.

  5. truckerswife says:

    Not everyone like girls with meat, me myself don’t like the way I look but my husband does so everyone has their own opinion.

  6. Uh, Earl, would a skinny chicken-legged heterosexual be more attractive to you? 🙂

  7. Miriam says:

    ooops, i want something like for me

  8. Juan says:

    Earl had that slur locked and loaded and ready to use.

    Lemme put this out there. Serena …. or in their prime…

    Gabriela Sabatini? (I’m taking Sabatini in a close one)
    Katarina Witt? (Witt and it’s not even close)
    Chris Everet? (Serena, however….)

    Saw Chrissy Everet the other day on some show.. she still looks good. Let’s see if Serena can withstand Mama Nature.

    Speaking of tennis… one of my all-time favorite athletes: Martina Navratilova.

  9. truly.equal says:

    Give me a break. What, she is not fashion-model thin? She is an athlete FIRST, and guess what she won the damn thing. Female athletes worry about the same thing as their male counterparts when they are competing.

    She looks good, maybe not ripped, and she was good enough to be the best athlete she could be while being healthy.

  10. Sports Snob says:

    she does look very out of shape (By her standards)..but expect her to make the quarters or semis at the least.

  11. gallerywalls says:

    Not your average female tennis player’s body, but “out of shape”? Those are muscles. I would be scared to death facing any tennis ball she had slammed!

  12. arleen says:

    id say she looks to be in pretty good shape. her body has always been quite different than her sister and shes always had a larger ass and boobs.

  13. Whats wrong with a little junk in the trunk?

  14. Lulu Malone says:

    I love you guys that love her the way she is–she is powerful–storng, and kicks ass. So what if she has meat–she is very muscular, and needs to be to do what she does. I’m with Earl–I like shape and curves rather than sticks–on my women–and men need to have some nice thighs and a grab-able ass too. [though I’m not with Earl on the anti-dyke comment–it’s all good, Earl]

  15. vkilla says:

    She is gorgeous. A beautiful black women. Don’t be intimidated.

  16. Jake says:

    Saw her up close, true buttahead. everything looked good but her head.

  17. Daryl says:

    A true Mandingo women. It’s all in her DNA. She carries it well….Smile

  18. FLEX says:

    So if you see me in your town and I appear to be moody
    It’s cause I’m thinkin ’bout plans that’s bigger than Serena booty 🙂

  19. kobe. says:

    daammmmmm serena your looking good in them shorts

  20. Austin says:

    I apologize for tossing in the lesbian’s point of view but um, I’ve never seen a more luscious, yummy tennis player in my life. I didn’t even notice she won the match with the seated player because I was still trying to recover from watching that apple bottom. I can’t ever have ESPN at my house because I’d never get anything done. Between tennis and golf I’d end up on the love seat never moving and inch. Lets just say I wouldn’t ever attain the body of luscious perfection by just watching Serina…not sitting on the love seat.

    thank you for the desktop wallpaper

  21. Austin says:

    PS. You cant tell me it was an accident that she posed that way. That is soooo not an accident. No woman accidentally pushes out the apple bottom and chest for the cam and reveals nicely formed arms and legs all without noticing that every straight guy in the area just stood up. “Oh, did I do that?” Yes, yes you did Serina and we love you for it.


  22. win now says:

    Good-looking site. Congratulations.

  23. urannofor says:

    Better comics xxx than she shuddered, he handed her attention upon phillip.

  24. mdodibojh says:

    15 year old girls in thongs She sighed. I could feel the correct pin, you should get dressed like.

  25. .. says:

    serena is a fatass.. everyone knows that. she should loose some weight.

  26. SALAAM says:


  27. […] Serena Needs Phat Farm? Say It Ain’t So […]

  28. fuxahakod says:

    I, looking for thought between the jessica biel nude big black and.

  29. MyOwnBrand says:

    Stop hatin – are you for real? In shape – out of shape, Serena is gorgeous. You’re mad because she picked a white guy. Her life, her choice.

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