Cal Ripken, Jr. – Government Agent


Card-carrying members of the Conspiracy Clan who come here often will love this: Just a couple of weeks after being elected to baseball’s Hall of Fame, Cal Ripken, Jr. was named today by the State Department as a “special sports envoy,” which means, far as I can tell, that our tax dollars are now at work sending Ripken around the world to make happy talk about us Americans.

Madam Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice did the honors, along with Karen Hughes, under secretary of public affairs. She said she could think of no one better than Ripken to spread the good news about the U.S. around the world. (Note: Skater Michelle Kwan is our other SSE.)

It’s cool and all, but, uh, what about Tony Gwynn? Did no one at the press conference think to ask this question?

I’m just sayin’.

All right, Conspirators, have at it…


One thought on “Cal Ripken, Jr. – Government Agent

  1. I always thought Ripken was overrated for his consec games record, but underrated for being a big shortstop. As for the new gov gig, I wouldn’t want the Great Tony Gwynn to have to slum around with the gang who can’t shoot straight. Still tripping off of Rice’s notion that a piece of intelligence that says, “Ben Laden determined to strike America…” was vague. I can’t wait until she and the rest of the Bush clan exit stage right. I just wish Sandman would come out to escort them.

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